Saturday, 28 December 2013

My Life Just Began


                               

                                 

                              30 !!! Will be turning 30 in a day. It is a mystery age. As I sit on my couch and think about all these 30 years, I feel so nostalgic. Many memories Good,bad,wonderful,painful everything that touched my life crossed my mind. Today I realized that every moment I lived is what shaped my life and the moments I existed were just meaningless.

                                As a kid all I knew was to study, play and grow up soon so I can be like my mother. I wanted to look like my mom. So I used to help her in the kitchen, drape Dupatta like a sari, comb like her, sing like her, dance like her and simply I tried to Imitate her. Later as I grew in age , I always wanted to be like my Father. He is my superhero and my First love. I wanted to be Strong like him, to talk like him, to behave like him. I even tried to walk like him. I never knew those imitations would later have a very big influence on me. I feel very proud to say that I Inherited my Mothers loving heart and My Fathers Fight-for-what-you-want Spirit.

                              I finished Schooling with a decent percentage and the next task was to complete Intermediate. It was a very jolly vacation for me. But I have to honestly accept that, Intermediate taught me How people in the real world will be. I felt like a Deer being thrown into a Lions den. Either I become their food or I protect myself. No one is less than a Chameleon. If they need something from you, they will shower you with fake affection. If they have to escape from any blame, they simply point their fingers at you. WOW !!! Amazing people they are. I learnt Less about my subjects in college and more about People and their nature. That is the basic education I received about life.  Undoubtedly the best education I got. Slowly I started adjusting to their colors but I made sure I threw few colors back to them. Why always be at the receiving end when you are capable of giving them the same crap. I followed the same. At that point of time I felt what I did was right. Later I realized, it just made me equal to them. One day my Father told me, “ If you treat people the way they treat you, then what is the difference between you both? Stand away from the crowd and make a place for yourself. Even if you have to stand alone for what is right, then stand alone. People who hurt you will repent and come back to you one day”. This conversation with my dad left a deep impact on me. In a way , it changed the way I think and behave. Thereafter even though my own friends ditched me, backstabbed me, rumored about me… nothing had an effect on me. I preferred to stay away from the sheep herd. Cleared Inter exams with a good percentage and its time for graduation.

                          Graduation is where exactly I learnt what real life is.  Intermediate was just a small circus crowd. But grad college life was like a Carnival and people I came across were more like Oscar award actors. Everyone wears a mask in front of others. In reality they are totally different people. Sometimes I even wondered if I ever knew those people. I never understood how people can cheat their own parents for money, how they can steal their own siblings gold to make cash for their luxuries, how they can use their friends personal life to blackmail them. The biggest blow I had was when my very close friend who used to be with me always, turned against me and rumored about me. Just to hide her mistakes she threw dirt on me to show herself clean before others. I was shattered and broken when I heard people talking about me.This time a conversation I had with my mother boosted my spirits up. She said, “ In life, whatever people speak about you behind your back will never define you. It defines them. Only those whose hands are dirty try to throw dirt on others. If you want to clean it every time they do so, you are just wasting your time. No matter how many times you clean yourself, they keep on throwing. You should be clean only for yourself, not for others. You don’t become ugly just because someone calls you so. You become ugly when you think you are. Never let someone’s words effect you as long as you are right in your way”.
 The best words that laid foundation to my future and the way I handle situations. From then on, there was no turning back. I never cared a jot for what people spoke about me. But the good thing was, whoever rumored about me, came back to me and apologized. That’s my biggest victory I can say.

                                After Grad, I got my Job and that’s a pretty new life. With salary coming my way and friends around, life became so beautiful. Its just like a never ending party. Professional & personal life just rocked . Very soon Marriage bells rang. Life was simply Picture perfect. Every frame was so beautifully designed. I thought life ends the same way. I was totally wrong. Nothing stays forever. Each frame started falling apart. Happiness started fading out. I felt as If I became 60 years old. Everything drifted apart. It was as if some cyclone came and washed my castle away. I had  to deal with the after math. I felt exhausted, crushed, crumbled, defeated, cheated, played and ditched both emotionally & physically. Did not even had the slightest strength to get up. May be I never wanted to get up with the fear that I might not stand again. Everywhere I saw people talking about their family, their children, their jobs & their success. What do I have with me to say about? I am  left with nothing. I lost everything I had. I was once envied a lot for having the worlds happiest life. But now iam nothing less than a laughing stock. One total year I locked up myself in my room. It was just me, my thoughts and my darkness.

                                    Hail.. That’s when I really understood life, my people and my strengths. That’s when LIFE KNOCKED MY DOOR. The false crowd that surrounded me all this while disappeared. Finally I was able to realize and recognize who my people are. I am shocked to the core to see how few people supported me, loved me and protected me in this period. Undoubtedly I can say, Iam rich in life because of such wonderful friends. They filled my life with light when iam in dark. They made me smile when tears were my only companion. They stood by me like rock support. If I am standing today that’s definetly because of their constant efforts. The best thing is they believed in me and my abilities even though I lost belief in  myself.
                                      Finally I gathered the guts to stand on my own. This time I have no fear that I might fall. Because even before I crumble I am so sure I will pick myself up with confidence. Even if I fall I am very sure that I shall rise.  Now I started building my life with every small brick of  lesson that life taught me. I will plaster all the gaps with the experiences I went through. I will colour it with the memories and love of all those wonderful people who brought smile back into my life. Iam in the process of constructing my life. It might take time because even Rome is not built in a day. But im in no hurry. I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. I don’t want to run to make a life. I don’t want to match the Success-o-meter that Society set. I want to just live life the way I want to. I am striving to fulfill my aim and gift  it to my best people. For sure I will succeed one day. Success to me is not what others define or others calculate. Success to me is what I define for myself.
                                     Books give you knowledge but Experiences educate you. In the past 2years I gathered experiences that can last my life time. I remember every one who threw me down, who picked me up, who loved me unconditionally, who supported me and who gave me hope. These lessons will pave the way to my success. Your friends are not those who party with you. Your friends are those who stay back after the party and help you clean the mess. I recognized my people and I can proudly say I got the best people in my life apart from my family. My life is worth them. Their love and support is what gives me the strength to face all the odds even at the darkest hour. In this way, im the most successful person alive. Success is to have your people with you at every walk of life.  And yes… I AM SUCCESSFUL.

                             MY LIFE JUST BEGAN…I AM LIVING IT !!!

Give me some Sunshine, Give me some Rain
Give me another chance, I wanna live it once Again !


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