As I sit to write this , the clock shows 10.51 pm 28.12.2020. In another Hour , I will turn 36 and lots of emotions are running crazily in my heart and mind right now. Minutes before I sat to write "I WAS STARING AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AS THOSE TEARS STARTED ROLLING DOWN FROM EYES." I let them flow for a while and finally wiped them off when I thought of writing.
Is it the FULL MOON or Is it the Age that's making me go all emotional? May be its THE BROKEN HEART SYNDROME. Or it can be the turmoil my soul went through.
Since my childhood, my birthday is always a silent one as it comes during Christmas holidays. So i always made sure to make more noise on my day. That fact didn't change even now. A day before my birthday I get hyper and enjoy the birthday vibes. Today its Different though.
A slow motion of my 35 years of life is running in front of my eyes in 75 mm. One hell of a ride it is. And undoubtedly "ONE HELL OF A WOMAN I AM".
At this age of 35, a woman's life is complete when she has a family (well that's a society version). Her life is settled once she gets married and has kids. I believed that concept too.
For 25yrs, it was a pretty smooth run. A wonderful bed of roses laid for me by my parents & I danced the way i wanted. Tears were something that I never Knew. And then Just like every other girl gets settled in marriage, it happened to me too. LIFE IS SETTLED was what i thought. Little did I know MY LIFE WAS ABOUT TO BEGIN.
A PRECIOUS DAUGHTER OF 25 yrs SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A SLAVE TO SOMEONE Else FAMILY.
A TREASURED SISTER BECAME A PUNCHING BAG FOR ANOTHER MAN.
Oh, was this the HAPPY WEDDING LIFE that all those 1000+ guests were blessing me on my marriage for?
A living hell of 8 months was the "UNTIL DEATH DO US APART" promise on the altar lasted for.
Burns on the skin to Bruises on the Body
Blood oozing from the Chin to Losing Baby to his Anger
He choosing another woman to His Parents supporting his wrongs
So this was the SETTLEMENT OF LIFE.
UNTIL ONE DAY I CHOOSE TO END IT ALL....ONCE N FOREVER
It wasn't easy again. A battle in court for 6 long years to prove MY CHARACTER before i Sign those DIVORCE PAPERS. 6 yrs of Precious life spent in those narrow court halls where every mans eyes have nothing but lust when I pass through them. All those times I endured the pain under that clenched teeth. JUST TO PROVE MY CHARACTER TO THE WORLD. Finally the day I WAS DECLARED A WINNER & WE SIGNED THOSE PAPERS I realized NO RINGS CAN BIND TWO HEARTS FOREVER. No matter how many promises you make at the altar.
CHAPTER CLOSED.
This journey is what shaped me. It made me realize "EVERY GIRLS DREAM OF HAVING A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE DOESN'T COME TRUE. Its absolutely ok to come out of a BROKEN MARRIAGE ALIVE THAN CHOOSING TO DIE."
REAL STRUGGLE STARTED WHEN I HAD TO FACE THE REAL WORLD.
A SINGLE WOMAN is always treated as A CHANCE . Yeah why not, after all who cares about love.
TO SURVIVE IN THIS WORLD OF WOLVES, I TOOK THE HARD WAY .
INSTEAD OF HIDING BEHIND MY PARENTS BACK
INSTEAD OF SEARCHING FOR ANOTHER MALE SHOULDER TO LEAN ON
I BECAME STRONG....STRONG ENOUGH TO SUPPORT MYSELF.
INDEPENDENT ENOUGH TO PAY MY OWN BILLS.
SELF SUFFICIENT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD.
I SHAPED MYSELF INTO A STRONGEST WOMAN and BUILT A WALL AROUND MY HEART SO THAT NO ONE CAN EVER BREAK ME AGAIN.
I EARNED A NAME FOR MYSELF IN THE MALE DOMINATED FIELD.
I MADE SURE PEOPLE KNOW ME BY MY WORK and NOT BY MY LOOKS.
I WORKED HARD and REACHED A STAGE WHERE WHEN I WALK INTO A ROOM , PEOPLE RECOGNIZE ME FOR MY SPEECHES.
IT TOOK ME 35yrs OF BLOOD,SWEAT & TEARS to BE THE UNTAMED VERSION.
Crossed my path with someone who tried to break the wall around my heart but unfortunately it was the wrong timing. Or may be we Didn't want to make it happen.
It was never a HAPPY ENDING as I DON'T BELIEVE IN HAPPY ENDINGS.
Falling in love is easy where as Building a future is difficult I guess. No hard feelings though. Wishing him the best.
I BELIEVE IN BUILDING MY OWN SELF
I TRUST IN PATTING MY BACK WHEN I AM HAPPY OR SAD
I LOVE TO CELEBRATE MY EVERY SUCCESS N EVERY FAILURE
I FELL IN LOVE.....
I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY OWN SELF.
For am very proud of the way I ROSE LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES OF LIFE.
Now my Birthday is not silent anymore. FOR THERE ARE MANY LOVED ONES WHO ARE CELEBRATING MY DAY.
Am writing this today , as i want people to CELEBRATE MY LIFE TOO.
LIFE IS NEVER EASY. BUT WHO CARES WHEN I AM STRONG.
IT TOOK ME 35 yrs to REALIZE THAT MY LIFE IS WORTH CELEBRATING, NOT JUST MY BIRTH.
FROM A WORTHLESS PERSON TO MY EX
TO BUILDING MY OWN BUSINESS .... MY LIFE IS WHAT I MADE IT TO BE.
A HUMBLE YET PROUD 35yrs old SINGLE,STRONG,INDEPENDENT & SELF SUFFICIENT WOMAN I AM.
CHEERS TO LIFE.
